I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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