butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
