Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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