Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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