$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
