She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
