can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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