were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
