the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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