oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
