I have demons in me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
