My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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