she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
