found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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