Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
