i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
