Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
