I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
