me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize