Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize