I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think i have two assholes
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
