He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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