I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
