she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
