I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
