1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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