so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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