hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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