I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The uberlube is also flammable
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
