k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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