I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
