hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm really busy with my period
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