She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
