very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
jump out the window naked night went bad
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