So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
