Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
