This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
