Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
