Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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