ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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