I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
