Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
