omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
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