I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
please don't ironically join a cult
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