this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
