Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
