Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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