im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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