Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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