you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
