I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
