dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
