dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
