The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
