It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize