Non-Jews are for practice
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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