her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
