it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
