areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this boner is exhausting
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
