I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
