When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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