Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
