he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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