i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
