I think my fart just growled at me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
