I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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