what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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