did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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